The (Lost) Art of the RSVP

May 17, 2010

When you get invited to a party, do you immediately respond that you’re coming (or not), wait a few days to confirm your schedule, wait til the last possible minute or just never respond and then show up (or not)? It’s always amazing to me how many people fall into the latter categories. Do these people not understand what it takes to plan a party? Not only do most places charge by the head, but many have a strict limit on attendees, so if you want to invite some other people that for whatever reason didn’t make it into the first group (commonly referred to as a B list but sometimes just really cut because of space), it makes it difficult to extend a last minute invite if the day before you realize you  have the room.

I hear from countless people how invitees don’t even bother to respond — and this is for informal as well as formal affairs, such as a wedding. This leaves the host in the unfortunate position of sending out emails or placing phone calls to try and track the answer down. And there doesn’t seem to be a pattern — some end up saying, “Oh yeah, we’re coming” and others say they have other plans. We had a few people (relatives, actually) who rsvp’d yes to our wedding but then didn’t show, leaving us out hundreds of dollars and with a table that had empty seats, not so much fun for the other people seated there.

Unless it’s a keg party, there are favors to buy, food to prepare or order, activities to plan…so the next time you’re lucky enough to be invited somewhere, rsvp in a timely fashion, and do yourself and the host a good service. Anything less is just plain rude.


I decided today that both party stores and craft stores depress me.

I’m away for the weekend without my kids and it just feels weird! I miss them. But I did go out with once of my longtime childhood friends last night, which was fun. The restaurant and then bar we went to were packed. And I was amazed that a mixed drink didn’t cost $12, which means I really need to get out of the city more often.

Hope you had a good one!


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