Oh, Miranda…

October 16, 2009

If it’s Thursday, Ken must be here with the Single (make that SINGLES) of the Week:

The world is turning Miranda.

First, we have Miranda Lambert, who’s written such irony-free gems as Gunpowder & Lead, Me and Your Cigarettes, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Kerosene. She’s Texan. Probably likes the Cowboys, denim and dry rub beef ribs. She’s got a stare that’ll burn you like acid. And she’s probably never said the Four Questions. Her new single, White Liar, tells you how it is:

Click here to listen.

Then, we have Miranda Cosgrove, star of Nickelodeon’s iCarly and burgeoning teeny bopper pop star. She’s the Foreman to Hannah Montana’s Ali. She’s born and bred for the screen and has indefatigable pep. She’s probably never watched online porn, and truly enjoys Halloween. Her latest single from the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is Raining Sunshine, which pretty much says it all. See what’s giving Roman Polanski heart palpitations:

Rude much?

It’s a simple rule, people: when getting onto a subway, or an elevator, or anything, really, LET THE PEOPLE OFF FIRST! Is it really that hard? It’s stunning to me how many people barrel forward and make the whole process that much more difficult. Geez Louise, as they say.

Etc.

What is up with the boy in the helium balloon? And then he wasn’t in the helium balloon? And maybe you should check your attic before you call the major media outlets? And why are you building a helium balloon in your backyard, anyway? Many burning questions, few answers…

Tomorrow I am going on a walking/eating tour of the West Village and SoHo. Rain or shine! Should be fun…and then let the weekend begin!!

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