The Greatest TV Show EVER

August 5, 2009

I am overworked this week, so in a moment of weakness, I am giving the blog over to Ken. I cannot say I agree with this recommendation, or the title he has given to this post, but I am sleepy…Here he is:

Every time I hear some scrawny, girl-armed critic or know-it-all Ivy League yuppie talk about how well-crafted Mad Men is, (Editor’s Note: I think he is referring to me), or how intricate and sophisticated Lost is, I laugh and laugh and laugh. Why? Because they’ve never turned on MyNetworkTV (granted, they may not know what MyNetworkTV is) and watched Breaking the Magicians’ Code: Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. How good it is? It makes The Sopranos look like a Mr. Belvedere. It makes Roots seem like it has the artistic depth of a toaster oven. Let me explain:

1. The deal with the devil: This masked magician is single-handedly destroying an entire profession and giving up decades of artistic expression for some easy primetime TV cash. He’s selling out thousands of hard-working, honest entertainers – shouldn’t you at least watch it so that their descent into unemployment and irrelevance isn’t totally in vain?

2. The narrator’s VO: Trite and borderline lecherous. Perfect.

3. The attractive female assistants: They’re long on camera time, and short on clothes.

4. The mask: The dude wears a latex mask. Think how much better M*A*S*H would have been had everyone wore masks.

5. The clincher: While the illusions are truly astounding, what’s even more unbelievable is how, once they’re revealed, you see that magic is less a feat of artistry, and more a feat of carpentry. Trap doors, rigged mirrors, camera angles, false bottoms in boxes – what’s sold to the audience as drama and showmanship derives from the workbench world of nail guns and bandsaws – just look at the close-ups of the masked magician’s grime-encrusted fingernails. The “secrets” are so pedestrian, it’s hard to believe. Magic is pipefitting on a stage.

The show deserves the highest accolades in the land – like the Nobel Prize for Emmy Lifetime Excellence. Below, for your consideration, is a clip:

Etc.

Well, readers, I leave it to you to be the judge on that one.

I had so many meetings today at work and then my cousin was in from California so I am feeling way behind the eight ball as far as time management.

I got a nice haul with my CSA tonight, including a green skinny eggplant that I have never seen before. But apparently because of all the rain, a terrible blight has hit all organic tomatoes and we won’t be getting any tomatoes this year! Apparently this is rampant around the Northeast, so don’t be surprised if you can’t find orgznic tomatoes in the store. Our farm consulted with a Cornell agriculture expert, and the only remedy was to rip out the vines and start over next year. So sad…

Hope you’re having a great week!

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